quick howard thought
Coming at you from my keyboard case for my tablet except I got the wrong size cuz I'm a dummy so I need to return it!!!!!!! So sad.
Anyway: Just thinking about Howard. I think I decided he would've been diagnosed autistic as a kid after all. Since Stan was diagnosed with ADHD, I think they would've picked up on it during, idk, I guess Howard would have been at the appointment(s) with him and Ciara. Howard seems very quiet and withdrawn even at that age.
Anyway, it got me thinking: this would have probably contributed to his inner dialogue re being aroace, like, feeling broken, not connecting with people, all that stuff. It would have anyway, even if he wasn't diagnosed, like, he would've still felt broken. Or still did until i recently changed the canon. But I do think he kind of, I dunno, receives this information without really grasping what it means as a kid, but as he gets older, he just... I guess internalises it, and it informs his opinion of himself, and why he's not making it work, in relationships and stuff. Before he realises aromantic or asexual are things you can even be, he's like... okay so there's something wonky about my brain and that's why and I'm just Doing it Wrong. Because of how I am.
Later, he learns that like, okay these things probably do inform each other, but it's also a thing you can just not want, you can just not want romance instead of trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, type of thing.
Random thought too: I wonder if like. Howard's obsession with the Spice Girls as a kid lmao... I wonder if he figured that's what being straight was. Like he figured he must like them because they're women and he's a boy. But he also found that thought uncomfortable, and didn't see them as attractive particularly. He just thought they were neat!
